My name is Debbie Sain and my husband is John. We have been foster/ adoptive parents for 28 years. During that time, we have had over 200 kiddos placed in our home. We have 3 biological daughters, have adopted 9 kids, and have had guardianship of 2.

I am going to share with you some highlights of what caring for a special needs kiddo looks like. Three years ago, we were blessed with a severe, non verbal, autistic 5 yr old daughter. When the county caseworker brought her to us, it was very late at night. They had some old clothes that were sent with her from the previous foster home. The county caseworker started to pull clothes out of a bag. To our surprise, all the hands of clothing were duct taped to be closed. I was a bit shocked because this would be against all rules with a child.

G had suffered abuse, and we were told she was kept in a closet in a basement. She was very violent and if you got close to her, she would bite, pinch, scratch, or kick you. She is a very strong and fast girl. She could not walk and would only crawl. She could not use words to communicate and screamed very loudly.

Nights were crazy. This poor child would never sleep. This meant I did not sleep. I spoke to our Agape and county caseworkers and doctors trying to come up with a solution to be able to keep her safe and in a bedroom at night. One night, G was found sitting in the freezer in our basement eating ice cream with her hands. Thank God I woke and realized she was not in her bed. Soon after that, we finally were approved for a special needs bed.

Driving anywhere with G was difficult. I would have to pull over often because she would bite and hit other children in the van. Soon we were approved for a special needs car seat. This improved our travel and everyone’s safety. Taking G out to stores or other places was about impossible because of her behaviors. I had her evaluated again and this time for a special needs stroller.

It was impossible to keep G in a highchair, and she was really too big for one. Her behavior revolving around eating and drinking and the tantrums she would have because I wanted her to eat in the dining room with us, seemed to never end. After 2 years with us and pushing the system, we finally were approved for an activity chair for G to eat and play in.

The special needs equipment is never given to a foster home. There are no special funds for these needs, and I had to be a very good advocate in order to get her needs met. It was a long, hard, and time-consuming journey that took months to years for us to get all of the tools to be successful.

All children need physical, dental and vision appointments when placed in a foster home. G had not received any dental care and had to have 8 teeth surgically removed soon after moving here. It would break our heart to know she was in pain, but unable to communicate it to us.

G began walking and then running after only being able to crawl for so long. She was the most severe toe walker I had seen. Her orthopedic decided she would go through casting on her legs for eight weeks. Each week we would take her to surgery for new casts to be put on. This slowed our little angel down. I was able to get some more upper body strength because she had to be carried and lifted so much. After going through 2 months of casting she had to wear leg braces all the time except during her short sleep time. Things were going well until she got into school and they would not keep her braces on her feet.

A few months passed and G had to have surgery to lengthen the Achilles tendons on both legs. Our poor girl had to go 8 weeks with no walking on her legs. This change created more stress for her and that meant more behaviors. Now she was not only hitting her head and biting and scratching, she also was making herself throw up several times a day and playing in her feces. The school would no longer work with G in the classroom setting so G stayed home and after a month we started having 20 minutes 4 times a week of home instruction. During the 3 months she has been home and not in school, she has made great strides. She has begun to learn some letters, signs, and her colors. She is saying a few words for us now. We see this as the beginning of great things for this sweet girl.

G has worked hard and has made so many changes since coming to our home. The violent little girl is now a lover and laughs often while interacting, in her own way, with those in our home. She hums and whistles music like no other. I always tell folks that if they take time to spend with my kiddos, they will surely be blessed. God only picks smart, good kids for our home. We’re excited for the future God has for G and our other special kiddos.